Letter to Mr. Barli - March 17, 2006

In the past, I used to let days passed by. Wasted. Unappreciated. Fruitless.

My eyes could see, my ears could hear, but my heart is numbed.

The world seem so blunt, so colorless, so meaningless.

Then I met Mr. Barli Sasmitawinata. He taught me to sketch pots, bottles, boxes … and I started sketching everything that I could see; stapler, eraser, paper, books, towels, pillows, clothes, etc. He told me to focus on the ‘negative space’ as this ‘negative space’ will automatically shape the ‘positive space’, creating a perfect structure before harmonizing it with the ‘tone value’.

I tried and tried to understand the meaning of his words. Months after months, I found myself still doing the still-life drawings with my pencils. I was still trying to grasp this concept of ‘negative space’.

One late afternoon, as I was sitting on the back seat of my car, suddenly my eyes were stunned by a gleam of light shooting down from the blue sky, and immediately I saw leaves moving lightly following the rhyme of the wind, the breeze gracefully blew fallen leaves on the street, tall trees growing toward the blue sky unstopped by time, the fresh scent of water in the air after the rain, the droplets of rainwater scattered on my windshield, the expression on the face of the people around me ...

That moment, I felt an immediate connection with my surrounding. I felt a deep twist in the way I percepted a day, an ordinary day filled with daily routines, yet so beautifully painted, negatively and positively balanced.

I began to understand what Mr Barli tried to convey in his teachings. I understand why I had to start drawing objects in their simplest form, rounded shaped or squared. All those months of still-life drawings is to teach me to appreciate the simplest things around me. Simple things that would pass by unnoticed.

I regretted the times I complained about life, because I was focusing too much to get contentment in life, that I did not realize how wonderful my life has already been. At that moment, I felt grateful for this life, grateful for both the goodness and the badness. I am grateful for the day and the evening, the sun and the rain. I am grateful for all the sadness that bring out the laughter. I am grateful for the worries that expressed my hope. I am grateful for the negatives that bring out the positives. Now I know. Now I can see. Now I can hear.

Thank you Mr Barli, for teaching me to draw, for teaching me about life, for teaching me to feel alive. Farewell my teacher, farewell my mentor.

-- Theresia Tajuni (Fang)